"In time we hate that which we often fear."

I have made a decision. 

I will never ever ever get a divorce if I have kids. 

Now I know that I can't really control this but I will do everything in my power to prevent it. I have two reasons for this decision:

1. My parents just got divorced which means that I have to go to my dad"s house every other weekend.
2. And I feel like I'm sharing custody of my best friend with her new gentleman caller.

Okay so first let's get into reason one. 

I'm not terribly upset by the fact that I now have two houses 

and that my life is basically cut 70-30 but I do think that

 it is starting to take a toll on my three younger siblings. 

I don't like the way that we all had to re-adjust to life but you know, 

if there's anything that I've learned about life it's that it goes on. Sometimes it just goes on a path that you haven't seen before.

And now the main reason. 

I don't think I could really handle being a parent and having my kids every other weekend or maybe even less than that. 

I feel like I constantly have to think before I ask my best friend to hang out

"Oh wait, is it Hayden's weekend or my weekend?" 

This, my friend is not normal.

I don't even know what to do now. I haven't seen her at all this week. 

I mean, we had an awesome girl's weekend 

last weekend that was really fun. But guess what? 

Even then, saturday night, there sat 

Hayden on her couch for an hour and a half. 

This boy has no concept of boundaries, best friend boundaries. 

Let me use a metaphor, I like metaphors. 

Him showing up whenever we're together would be like my 

mom showing up at my dad's unannounced and just staying 

even though I was giving her the death glare. 

Oh. My. Gosh. 

I'm my father in this situation. 

With even less custody... well I've always heard that I'm my father's daughter, just never though that it was meant to be used in that sense.

The hardest part isn't that I love that kid, even though I do. 

He's awesome, especially for her. 

No, it's that I love her more than anything and I want to see her happy. 

Life is all a balancing act, one day it'll all even out and things will start to calm down... hopefully.

-My father's daughter.